today i'm at my mum's house again.. anyway, been raining for whole day le.. recently, weather's been so cold that my girl caught a cold yesterday...

had given her medicine to drink le.. she is still sleeping or else, i wun be able to blogg. anyway, recently, i have been convert to perm in starhub since 1st Jan 06.. been doing my same job scopes till end of new year.. around beginning of feb, then have to fully be independent as a CCC le..

i have sign the paper with him le. its also given him time to cool down and tink it thru first. i tink its better.. anyway, yah, both of us hav been sad on that day.. but things still hav to come straight. i dun wish to keep hanging there while he does nothing to this family. anyway, my in law still got no idea abt this, will leak out everything after new year. cos dun wan to spoil their new yr too.. recently, so hard to communicate with my in law again.. i even hav nightmare of her yesterday.. so scary.. i dun wish to go for work so stress le and come back home still hav to face her until i'm afraid i wun be able to have fresh air to breathe.

yesterday i went to my company clinic for pre-employment chk up.. then the doctor ask me to go to my family doctor to chk up again.. i am so scared.. after the company chk up, i went straight to jurong polyclinic.. then the doctor say nothing leh..duno lor.. i was tinking am i going to die le..its was not easy for me to come to this stage where i was abt to have my own rental flat and do things independently and having my more stable job and salary, then this thing happen.. at that time, my mind was all in a whirl of duno what to do if i really contract with cancer? i hope nothing happen. i still got my girl to take care.. i still have not enjoy my life yet. i still got alot of things to do.. i hope next week, when i go chk up, i hope everything is fine for me. i got no appetite for the whole day..

anyway, just went online to his bank acc to do standing order for my thing. then i find out that he got another bank acc and is richer than me.. haiz.. see his transaction history, so scary.. can spend money almost a thousand dollar in one day... haiz.. somehow feel cheated and sad.. anyway, i wun wan to be the only one suffering.. i tink after new yr, my life will be better in financial wise.. but will be harder for me to go out as i dun have much freedom to go out le.. cos got shift work to do and also need to earn more money..

ok, i shall stop at here.. see when i will be back. to blogg again..=) tks for those who still rmb me...i feel sometimes being isolated from the society, from my groups of friends...