Today, I was suppose to meet Yiru in the morning.. but last min at 10am, he msg me and tell me that he is not coming.. then he even ask me to go clarke quay when i'm free.. all the more, i felt more angry cos I call him and he sounded abit happy and said nothing else but only sorry.. It not sorry that can cure.. I hate most when ppl esp ur friends put aeroplane to u lor..

then yesterday, I did msg Candice to come out to meet me to hear a talk. Then she ask me wat time to meet.. I tot she already agreed and I reply her thru a msg and told her that I will confirm the time and will msg her back.. then she reply back and said she cant come cos she is very tired. I was abit angry too abt her.. I really duno why must so many of my friends ask them to go out.. but sounds and seems like Im going to hurt them like that and got fear.. haiz.. this kind of friends make me realise that these friends are not true friends to me,.. so disappointed and hurt lor.. duno wat came to them and also, I duno is it my temper is bad or its them who change...=(

Anyway, today, had a big quarrel with my mum.. haiz.. feel that she dun understand me at all.. and she dun seem to treat me like her daughter ever since I got married.. I seem like a tenant to my family members.. Maybe is my bad temper or maybe I'm sensitive.. but I am just sad lor..

anyway, there's sth special today.. today at ard 8 plus at night, a Swallow flew into my house.. I was shocked and run.. hehhe.. anyway, we managed to get it off by switching off the living room light..

anyway, recently, so many unhappy things happen, I tink I was feeling so down.. then he got his passport from his parents recently and told us that he will be going overseas training.. duno lor.. tink he is lying again and again.. duno  how long he will change.. I tink wun lor.. he still lie for the sake of lie.. tink he really njoy so much and heard that he owes alot of $ from other ppl.. haiz..he still duno wat is ashamed ....

I tink he is beyond hope le.. I tiNK i GIVE up..  

just finish watching SUPERSTAR.. really shit lor.. tot Kelly will win the contest.. haiz.. i tink the pple pity him lor.. haiz.. really find it wasting time watching this when i guess alot of ppl also feel disappointed..

anyway, I still like JunYang and Shi Xin Hui's singing rather than Kelly and Kelvin.. cos I tink both of them sings better.. more standard lor.. this is how i feel lor..=)

Anyway, not tok abt this le.. today specially come to log in to my blog to update myself..i tink been a week or so din blogg le..

Anyway,apologise to those friends who seen my blogg.. so sorry that I can only blogg all at one go.. and not blogg everyday cos dun really hav the time to do this.. and not enuff rest le.. so how toblog everyday?? heheh.. hope all of u understand. I noe my blogg got alot of words and not much pic... will try to upload some pics soon, ok?

About my work:

Today, been attached to my mentor at work for listening and answering technical calls for 3 days le. find it real tough to be a customer service consultant.. find it that i hav to be very alert and awake when answering calls as everything I said is being recorded and also impt as Customer may quote wat u say and accuse u abt this.. initially b4 coming into Starhub, been really excited and wanting to be a customer service officer.. but when i experience, wow.. find everything really needs skills and tough to maintain in a society..

About my life:

life has to keep going on and also only need to concentrate my work lor. work hard for tiffany.. As for him, I find myself hating him more n more.. and also keep myself shut off whenever I heard abt him or his name.. he is too disappointing and I cant bring myself to forgive watever he did to hurt me.. I have already cried and hurt myself alot alot of times and now that I am able to stand up again.. I wun wan to fall into a trap again.. Today, heard from his dad that he mayb coming back home this sat.. i tink he wun come back and also even if he come back, all he tell are lies.. Though I hate him now.. but I can only say that I still wish that he is fine overall.. and watever it is, he is still tiffany's dad.. I just sometimes cried becos I can feel that mayb tiffany really miss her dad alot cos everyday now and then, she keep calling her dad.. and when she first started calling names, she would call daddy first.. Though I am sad and disappointed.. but still I hope at least he will do his part by seeing her sometimes so that tiffany can at least hav a feel abt having a dad beside her.. but tink all this tinking wun come true.. so silly am I..@_@

About my health:
My health have always been poor since young.. ever since, give birth to tiffany.. and lack of sleep.. more worst.. though stress or wat, still find myself not losing any weight.. anyway, so I did tried a health product, Melilea Organics.. really find it good. I feel abit lighter.. though have not weigh.. but the syptoms when the person describe to me has happen to me.. I fast for exactly 1 week and I see some effects.. I mean syptoms.. so I even have more confidence in this product as I know now that the person did not lie to me at all and even give me more trust in this product.. This product is not a addictable product.. and is not harmful at all. It contains all the diff types of vegetables.. and nutrients.. and the good thing is I can stop it at any point of the time and there is no side effect..Anway, if tried for some time and its real good, then will recommend u all.. and those interested can ask me lor..dun worry..=)

others:
Last sat, went to ktv with Tommy and hav a session there. though I am not feeling well.. but I go there sing.. My voice in the end went hoarse.. real bad.. been falling sick for 2 weeks plus. then recently, just recover only today.. will take more rest lor.. dun worry, guys and gals.. anyway, yesterday went to suntec alone to redeem vouchers..

hihi.. yeah.. come here again to blog.. now is my lunch time.. going back to work soon. anyway, finish my training le..the last test I failed and even failed 2 times.. then in the end, the trainer help me to pass. I am really grateful to them. I tink I flung the test becos I din have time to study. even if I had, I oso cant concentrate becos of lack of sleep..

Anwyay, yesterday, only sleep for abt 4 hours only.. cos tiffany yesterday duno why.. keep crying and whining all the way.. I am sometimes really fed up and beat her up.. I feel guilty after that lor.. I duno why.. this is my reaction.. and I am REAL tired and she keep making noise throughout the night.. really felt so 'fan'.. frustrated abt it.. anwyay, hope she is better now.. or my mother in law will be very fed up..

Recently, doing some cheerleading to cheer up my dept.. and have some awards coming.. so had been busy doing projects.. and work..

Today meet my friend, yiru.. duno why.. someone tells him sth abt me lor.. and i'm quite angry. cos I din wan so much ppl to worry and ask alot of qns abt me and him.. cos I wanted to forget abt him.. come to tink of that, yesterday, he called home. and I listen it.. so coincident.. then he dun wan to say his name lor.. haiz.. thought he maybe better in his word to me as we long time din contact.. but no lor.. he is still the person I really disappointed in..but now, I tink i have really told myself hard to forget abt him.. and I tink I did it.. now whenenver the parents talk abt him, I find it irrtated.. not those feelings where I still put hope in it.. I tink I really made it..=) and thanks to my counsellor and good friends..who are by my side..

I told myself that I wun be able to forget how he betray me, how he scolded vulger and how he treats his daughter and parents.

By the way, I had tried the health products.. and thisis the 3rd day.. c how is the results first lor.. anyway, abit scared lor.. but I wan to gain back some of my confidence lor.. I must prove to him.. and I pity him cos I heard from somebody that the bitch treat him like a dog..

Now I tink its his loss for everything...now, i dun blame myself for all this.. is that now my daughter noe how to call mi and him.. I felt sad cos she dun hav a complete family.

hihi... been long since i'm here again. but not forgetting to blogg again.. tink some of u  all might tink i'm MIA le.. hehe..

Anyway, update to u wat i'm currently doing now.. Now still working in Starhub.. then recently rushing a big project in all 3 levels of the dept.. hav to do OT recently.. and been doing charts, graph.. and also doing clean up of my office table for a cleanliness contest.. so many events happening inside my office.. and got a free watch too.. heheh..

Yah, one latest news.. is yesterday went to Melacca with one of my friend, Kelvin..He ask me whther I can go there for one day.. and ask my mum abt it.. she is abit worried.. but in the end i rest assured with her abt my safety as I'm going alone with him and his sis.. and also not very close friend.. but just tot of going foor the sake of giving myself a break.. and went there since morning at 6.30am to around 12.30 midnight..

The main purpose for me going there is to rest and relax abit.. and also din go there b4.. so went there.. and all things are well prepared and got malaysia private bus sent us there.. so not to worry.. then there's a talk on some health products.. Organic products.. and I bought it at RM 192.. wow! din expect to buy so expensive things.. but its' a 5 star health product. It can help to washs out human's toxin substances. it can also help a person to slim down or vice-versa.. so within 7 days. I will see the effect... so I tried and see.. if really effective, will update u all lor..=)

I bought food stuffs for my parents..but too bad din bring camera to take phots of myself.. and also.. almost my money is spent on the Organic products.. so din bought for u all.. so sorry abt it.. anyway,had a long talk with my friend, kelvin.. feel relaxed.. and also got alot of doubts on him and all is clarified.. and also din had a good laugh for so long le..yesterday din relax myself..

currently, i willl be concentrating on my job.. and tiffany.. i wun go tink of him unnecessarily.. he is not worth my worry anymore.. Ever since I hav clarrify and noe how he feels.. i tink he is not worth and i tink i dun even need to pity her.. she is too much lor.. just hope they get their retributions.. and deserve wat they really reap..

now, i'm inside training room.. having break. Anyway, on the National day itself..

at evening time, went to Jurong Heartlanders to celebrate National Day with family. din go out with friends cos tink no one ask me oso.. anyway, been real hard to meet up recently cos hav to take care of my girl or my MIL will show black face...hehhe..

Its the first time I celebrate with Tiffany.. brought her there.. and guess wat? She din come to see the fireworks.. she come only to see other children holding balloons.. heheh... so funny.. when the fireworks show two times, she just show a shock expressions like some lights flashing in the dark sky.. hahaha.. really duno how to describe her expressions.. she also get to see the military tanks on the road show.. =) too bad, mi lor.. so fogetful to bring my camera to give her a shot...

haiz.. ok, been there for 5 hours standing and watching till 10.30pm..

Anyway, yesterday feel so bored.. after my training, went alone to Jurong east Library to study for my test.. then just duno why, go up to arcade to see whther he is there or not.. then he is not there..

been tinking and tinking since on the National day itself... I have msg his aunt and told her that I am giving up on him le...I have also cut down alot of thoughts abt him inside my mind ever since.. I got to noe everything abt him from someone.. now, I feel like not much feelings put to him anymore..

Yesterday, he called his father and ask him abt his passport thingy.. then my MIL and FIL carry my daughter to let him listen to him.. and oso ask tiffany to call him daddy..I did let her go and listen the call.. but at that time, I have not much hatred and any feelings to him.. just feel abit shocked abt this.. maybe its time who heal me alot.. anyway, also my good friends and true friends who are always by my side that brings me alive up till now.. or else i tink i wun be here anymore..

anyway, just feel so bored keep staying at home looking after her and not going shopping with friends.. and i felt myself very isolated with the outside world now.. now then understand how my mum last  time feels..

wanting to go out.. but my MIL always keep asking and show that face.. dun like that lor.. haiz... maybe that's whay he choose to run out from home.. I just wan to save up and quickly get out of here...

yesterday, been taking tiffany to Mediacorp at 11am for her baby contest audition. she wears a white dress with afew hair clips on her head.. heheh.. i hav  been so excited and nervous for her.. even had a dream abt her walking during the contest.

anyway, i have reached there at 10am and saw alot of toddler... she is the smallest toddler among all the contestant..heheh.. but very cute cos can walk and so small size mah..

she join two contest, the fastest walking toddler and also the sunshine toddler...yah, she was asked to walk from a starting point to the other end and her timing is 16.35 seconds...To me, I tink its good le..hehehe

anyway, have to wait for the tcs8's call and know the results...=)
hope she will get in.

Hi.. been working in a new environment for 1 week le.. working in starhub at ayer rajah.. the ppl there is very friendly.. but for work, it can be quite stressful.. my shi fu teach me for only 4 days and i hav to hands on to the new software.. cos she has left just the last thursday.. so hav to pick up almost everyhting from her.. did learn alot of things esp doing reports.. anyway, heard that my boss is a very good guy... hehhe..

anyway, yesterday come back to my mum's house.. ok.. go to sheng siong and buy some baby stuffs.. then yesterday night go out and meet chih hao.. meet him at lot 1.. he is doing fine.. just sign on in the navy.. he is much darker now.. and heard from him that he now noe how to swim le.. hehhe..feel good for him cos now, felt that he got goals and target for his future.. and tha's not bad thing.. anyway, we go take neo print.. but too bad.. cant download it cos din bring digital camera.. anyway, just felt that he is now a more sensible and mature guy.. who dun always talk abt his magic cards anymore.. maybe abt his career.. and all those stuffs he din mention b4 in the past.. he has grown up le.. hahha.. like i'm so old hor?/hahaha.. ok..

Anyway, just to update that i have let Tiffany join a baby bonzana contest and its first round is on 14th aug.. just wan let her hav fun.. and see how lor when the day comes..

then today, at ard 1 plus pm, I answer a call from his dad.. he says that got someone who leaves the milk powder and a packet of pampers outside the corridor.. then his dad tink that it's him.. n I oso tink so..his dad just wan to let me noe in the first place.. and tink thats' kind of him to tink that.. but anyway, all of us are very disappointed in his doings.. he dun dare to even come up his own house and visit his parents? why? I dun understand. dun even dare to come up and see his own daughter? haiz.. just forget it.. I have already too disappoint in him le..

yesterday, i msg him at nightb4 i go sleep and ask him how is he.. din expect him to reply.. but anyway, he reply back and said he has no job and also din manage to get the army job.. anyway, abit glad he reply back lor..

then today, as usual, i was abt to go work to turf city as promoter, he called me using a public phone and ask me abt his aunt's number. then he dare not greet me.. only when i recognise his voice, then he speak.. anyway, he got ask abt tiffany.. and said that he is free then will visit her when he is free.. anyway, at least he got the heart to ask abt tiff..

then today I din made any much sales.. haiz.. not enough koka noodles to give for the tuna purchased.. anyway, there's sth happen today... noe wat? I met a girl called jennifer, who is 1 yr older then me and almost the same fate as me.. she is an unwed mother.. her son is already 3 yrs old.. then his guy din marry him and outside got another party... and heard that that party is also pregnant.. but duno in the end, wats the outcome.. anyway, Jennifer likes an Indian-muslim guy.. so her son looks like an indian lor.. anyway, just feel its really fate to brought me and her to meet together.. and i feel quite surprise that someone is somehow like same boat as me.. and also so coincident that we can meet each other in the same place..

anyway, now watching show.. bring it on.. so long din watch le.. still as nice..=)

got to go sleep le.. tml last day work as promoter.. nitez....

hihi.. today is my rest day at last.. but I wun forget to update my bloggie.. hehhe..Tiffany has just slept so can find time to come here to check my emails,.. and any updates from u all...(@_@) 

anyway, been working as promoter recently for last 3 days in Giant (Turf City).. selling Heinz Tuna and canned soup. Anyway, I will still be promoting these products this coming wednesday and also friday till sunday.. been quite tired working there but quite enjoy it as I love to interact with customers directly. maybe its my interest all along rather than office work..

Guess wat? I saw my ex-AVP last two days (Sat).. That Lucy Poon lor.. she come to Giant with her family members but then she din manage to see me as its my dinner break time and I just go out and hav my dinner and rest.. I tink its really so coincidence.. I was just tinking that after I din work in OCBC bank le.. then at least dun wan to see those ppl again.. as I will tink of my past experience in there.. So helpless inside.. and those superior.. more worst.. haiz.. yah.. not tok abt it le..

Actually I work in turf city, i shld be quite happy to see my ex-colleagues.. ex-promoters.. and those aunties and uncles who are very friendly and helpful towards me. but the last 3 days work there make me tink of him again.. I just cant get that thoughts out of my mind evene if i keep myself busy.. I oso cant.. I have tried. I remember the times where I last work as promoter in turf cuty when I have not got married.. when we've been together.. when he always call to ask me whether I have eaten, can I adapt to the pple there? Am I happy there?.. when I feel bored when there's no business, he will msg me that he will comee and accompany me for dinner, for my tea break and wait for me to off work and sent me back home even though he is sometimes very tired working... I keep remember how caring he is to me.. how thoughtful he is.. Most of my customers in Giant are families going out together happily shopping.. When I saw them, I was very envious.. I keep wondering why am I the one who is suffering all these? Why am I the one so unfortunate?

I always wonder, how do families maintain their harmony? how? by giving in? I'm just a failure to this.. Its always been my question.. I just really duno how to maintain realationships in a family.. sometimes even hav quarrels with my family members.. I feel I'm now a person who is now heading towards no aim at all.. whenever I have a plan, I find it always not smooth.. I almost give up my hope in finding a room to rent le.. Connie's sister's bf's mum dun feel like looking after her.. I tink nobody just wan to look after her.. then I look for the MP to help out for renting one-room flat.. but he says that I must have the d paper on hand to apply.. I just cant move out like this.. I am in a very blurr situation..

I have talked to my counseller abt it.. then she as me to find alternatives.. I really.. feel have no energy in finding. then we talked abt the personalities in a persoon.. and I am an ENFJ PERSON..
                                     E for Extrovert
                                     N for Sensing
                                     F for feelings
                                     J for Judging

Its quite interesting.. she says I'm suitable for working in a service-oriented environment place.. like being Customer service officer, hotel lines.. like Public Relationships officer.. and I oso tink that suits me.. that's why I apply for customer service officer..
Anyway, I just have to say I only hae to go step by step to head on.. =) don worry abt me.. guys and gals..i'm fine.. just that I cant stop my mind from pondering alot of things.. maybe I'm just very foolish..I just duno why can pple play with their relationships where I treat it as very important..